Chapter 12a "Chloe"

Cut to this strange little scene….

Wyatt and I are sitting at the bar in The Park Tavern. Even though there is a bright orange light blasting down the street and illuminating everything outside in a cheery orange glow, there is a dank, beer drenched, woody and incandescent pall upon us. Chloe is sitting in between us on a bar stool and is sucking down Shirley Temples like nobody's business. Wyatt and I haven't even touched our Stellas. They sat like two sentinels of foamless piss before us. We, bookends to this tiny child, who was having more fun in the bar than anyone who was currently in attendance, watching three televisions and indulging in more sugar than she had seen in months. Wyatt and I were staring expectantly at his cell phone which was placed directly in front of Chloe between the two Stellas. Both of us were either scratching or rubbing our own heads, looking stupid, weary and a little creepy.

Johnny had given us Dade's ex-wife's number. There was always this suspicion of mine that had indicated that Johnny had more than a passing interest in Dade's ex-wife, but since Johnny knew everybody, I didn't press the issue. He eventually found her number as he rummaged around his apartment and gave it up.

When I called Faith, I tried to be evasive and cunning, but Dade's ex-wife was amazingly persistent and probing. Faith had gleaned the whole story from me before I had known that I had spoken a word, and while I was talking, Chloe let out a wail while I was telling the dog mauling story in somewhat gruesome detail. Wyatt punched me hard in the shoulder while he was driving. After hearing her child scream like that, Faith was becoming inconsolable. I could tell that Faith was drunk or something, and I successfully convinced her not to try to pick up Chloe, and just to give me Auntie Laura's number.

Here we were, waiting for Auntie Laura. A weary crew of a toddler, and her dirty, ad-hoc uncles, no doubt traumatizing her for the ages.

Chloe: relishing a Shirley Temple.

Wyatt: turns to me and whispers, "You're a fucking idiot, man."

I pick up my full beer and glurp on it, "Fuck you."

Chloe pipes up, "This is fucking GOOOOOOOD!" Indicating her Shirley Temple and crunching on a cherry. The bartender and a waitress that were in earshot recoil in horror. I put my hands up to my head and mime pulling out chunks of my hair as I glare at Wyatt and take two fingers and cover my lips. SHUT THE FUCK UP, WYATT.

I threw a twenty out on the bar and said, "Check!" The bartender just regarded me with disgust, Wyatt started to chug his beer when fucking Faith walked in looking all cracked out and weird. Upon seeing her, I grunted towards Wyatt and we both turned away from the door and leaned on the bar. We three, Chloe, Wyatt and me, all of a sudden were chugging down our drinks, begging for anonymity.

How anonymous can you be while hanging out with a 4 year old at a bar?

Faith screams, "CHLOOOOOEEEEEEEE!!!"

"MOMMMMMMYYYYY!!!"

They run across the entryway to each other. Wyatt and I hunch our shoulders over the bar, and stop breathing for a moment. I know that Wyatt is hoping that our mission is now accomplished. Child reunited with family member. BAM! Done. I am hoping the same thing until I hear Faith say, "So where the FUCK is Dade!?" Again, the good staff of The Park Tavern recoils in horror, and expectantly waits for some kind of white trash opera.

I get offended for Chloe. I get embarrassed about the whole situation, and fling myself from my barstool, I feel Wyatt’s fingers just barely graze my neck as he tried to horse collar me back into my seat just a little too late. I scoop up Chloe in one hand and grab Faith by the arm and wheel her out the door of the bar. Just as I get eye to eye with Faith, I hear a familiar voice behind me. It was one that I had heard on some rather calm beer drinking nights that made up a good majority of a summer about two years ago. It was a summer where I sat on the porch with Dade and a sprinkling of his family members and neighbors. We used to play cards all night and drink Dos X. It was Auntie Laura.

She waddled across the street from the Whole Foods parking lot and was cooing and calling the whole way as if to distract me from the tirade that I was about to unleash on Faith. I gritted my teeth at her, and she arched an eyebrow at me that looked like a defiant, yet sexual challenge. I just snorted at Faith and handed Chloe to her.

"Ohhh! Ohhh! Ohhh! Sooooorry! I'm soooo late, "Auntie Laura says. She comes over to grab Chloe and there is a little bit of a Mexican standoff between Laura and Faith. Wyatt swings through the front door and belches. He looks at all of us and shrugs, and grabs me by the arm as he passes merrily into the street. Laura turns to look at me, and pleads with her eyes. She starts to speak, but I cut her off with a motion of my hand and succumbed to Wyatt's tug and we walk arm and arm into the street without a word.

Mission accomplished. Fuck off.